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Double Black

Double bluff

Doubled back

Hit me where no physical eye sees

And one must be attuned to feel.

 

Force as heavy as the habit you became

Too huge to comprehend

Whose emotions are these?

Is there such a thing as what I 

Really feel?

Or just the weight of all experience

Suffocating me like black earth

Forcing me under

To stillness, not wonder

Trying to render

me new.

 

As all disease, when reconciled with earth

Gives birth anew to spring and beauty

Perhaps the weight which holds me

Will slowly, surely filter

Will calmly, gently alter

While I’m stuck and alone

A germination.

As I doubt my very self

A termination.

Atrophy to the old soul

I will become new.

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Relationships

Wish You Well

Here we go again, it’s the same old song

Yet another song for a man long gone

Starin’ down your wishin well

Of endless hope, ah who can tell

You keep your eyes down holes all day

You might not hear me, I got somethin’ to say

Now I been patient with you all this time

And you think you’re the one who’s walkin’ the line?

When the lord made time, sure he made a lot of it

You’ve been wastin’ yours, and it ain’t to your credit

I’ve been watchin’ while you build up your hopes

Made outta nothin’ but mirrors and smoke

I see how you’re bein’ and I know how you been

Like I’m the projector and you’re the screen

Why d’you want this guy? He ain’t good for you

Catch him on the rebound – that the best you can do?

He cut off your reason when he laid you down

And all he’s done since is to mess you around

But little miss, he ain’t got nothin’ on me!

I’ll listen, I’ll care and I’ll love you for free

I ain’t gonna make you feel no second best

I’ll treat you better than all of the rest

My love is for you babe, I wish you could tell

But you’re gon have to pull your head from outta that well.

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Relationships

Diet Coke Break

Hold that thought

Like I could help myself

Twisting and lusting

Like a woman possessed

A woman possessed? Aw, I wish it was me

Can’t shake a berry from your honey tree.

Filled with incandescent desire

Lying here next to a burnt-out fire

You’re awake, and I know, there ain’t nothing for this

You gone and got hold of a hurt little miss

Little miss heartache, little miss lost

Whisky tears in the morning showing me the cost

Unrequited? Nah, it ain’t so, you see

Did I really only want you to make love to me?

Out of the question; you turned me loose

The mistake’s been made; no trite excuse

And you know, and I wish that you’d get gone

I done let you in to my body, my home

It ain’t that I don’t understand, cos I do

But I can’t take another heartache from you

Is it gonna be real? Why, my mind’s invention

I made it all up, so why this sense of desertion?

I don’t wanna bring heavy shit to your table

But I got feelings too, and damn I ain’t able

To quit when that mojo was rising so good

So sweet and so hard, though I knew that I should

Cut you out, get you gone, but my mojo filter

Gone right off the scale, whacked way outta kilter.

Never fall in love with a rebound man

He can’t love you now, little miss, but you can.

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Philosophical Musings

Blink

Tension builds

Salt water fills

The weighted bulb, resisting

Tension holds

while damp, cold worlds

Outside, below, persisting.

Resolution, fortitude, inner strength, or grace

Holds suspended, unconfirmed

Damacles’ sword above my face.

Freeze the world in time and let not

Changes be our master

Then I would never move,

But on the verge of all forever –

No harsh, abandoned emptiness

No paralysing reticence

No fear that my heart may contain

Even a fraction of your pain.

No waiting game, or cold rejection

No harsh rebuff of warm affection

No holding on with fixed view

To what, patently, is not true.

No future-strung reality

No mad mind-forg’d mentality

No memory of battles lost

Of hearts asunder, human costs

Of love and its atrocious ways

Could penetrate my balanced gaze.

Hold.

Hold.

Don’t move. Don’t

Blink.

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Philosophical Musings

This Position

Oh God, it’s raining,

my plan’s fallen through,

I can’t stick to what I was going to do.

I can’t go out there

in the cold and the grey

and all this low pressure around me today.

I’m going back to my comfy warm bed

With a nice cup of tea and a book instead.

What, give up? my soul cries

Why, it’s only some weather!

And it’s only there so that you can see whether

You’ll learn how to read it, or foolhardy go

Into storms and black clouds like a million before

without what you need; going out ill-prepared

Well, of course that’s just reckless, and badly you’ll fare

But get the right kit; use the wisdom you’re given

Get on your bike and remember you’re driven

By a soul that shines in you, no matter the rain

(and remember that soul comes along with a brain)

For the day could well brighten, or rage the storm might

But still, you’re an infinite being of light!

The worst of my tempests is no imposition

To one with a positive disposition 🙂

Lucille 2013

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Relationships

Too late

I thought that all my tears had gone

So long ago, so long ago

Been missing you my whole life long

Now I’m too late, and left alone

And there ain’t no-one to blame but me

A happy home don’t come for free

Loneliness is here to stay

You asked my hand; I walked away

What hope now for a stubborn girl

Who cannot settle down

What price now for the freedom

To pack up and move along

And I haven’t got the strength it takes

To honestly deny

That what I need right now is love

And you can name your price

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